Your Secret Sauce to Success: Self Talk

Do you work for horrible boss?

Many in business for themselves have “bosses” that do things that would never be tolerated by anyone else…

They can be demeaning; insulting; overbearing; demand overtime without pay; not allow vacation; and most importantly ridicule with bad language that promotes poor performance, lack of creativity, and really bad morale.

Unfortunately, those “bosses” are you.

Poor self talk is endemic in small business owners and executives. It’s so easy to fall into patterns of self-flaggelation and nothing good comes from it. There are many reasons for it…

  • Poor self confidence
  • Low self-esteem (which is different)
  • Challenges in business
  • Lack of support
  • Depression
  • Outside influences

Positive self-talk is critical to your success both professionally and personally. I’m not talking about spouting affirmations mindlessly. I’m talking about an intentional paradigm shift in your brain that instills confidence, self worth, perspective, and excitement.

Here are some techniques to use when you find yourself slipping into horrible boss mode…

  • Have perspective. I doubt you’re in a foxhole where people are shooting at you. It;s doubtful you are in a life and death situation. There are few things that can’t ultimately be fixed. Relax. Get a grip. Understand most of the population on this planet would trade places with you in a heartbeat.
  • Take a deep breath. Breathing properly is fundamental to good health (and a pulse). Lack of sufficient oxygen to the brain causes bad things. Take a breath.
  • Focus on the most important thing you can do at this moment. Be positive and use your brain, not your harmful words, to solve it.
  • Remember that you are improving the lives and conditions of others. People are counting on you and need you to be at your best.
  • Take a walk. Play with your dog. Talk to your spouse or significant other or friend. Play with your kids. Heck, watch television. But for goodness sake, change the scenery.
  • Get off Facebook. There is a new sort of “disease” going around called Facebook envy. It’s where you see all your friends (and many “friends” you haven’t seen since they had braces in junior high), living great lives, going to exotic ports, with great hair, and all the glories of life. And, many are lying through their teeth. Regardless, you need to be happy with who you are and what you bring to the table. You’re better off watching a repeat of Gilligan’s Island.
  • Don’t take yourself so seriously. Really.
  • Get help. If you need a therapist, fine. But in many cases, you need a coach, mentor, accountability partner, colleague, or friend. Don’t hold it all in. Find someone who will be there as a sounding board but not allow you to wallow in self pity.
  • Get a dog. (A plug from Captain Jack – read his new column below)

Bottom line, treat yourself better and start by keeping the thoughts in your head about you positive. You are your biggest asset. Treat yourself like it!

© 2013 Dan Weedin. All Rights Reserved

Author: danweedin

Consultant / Speaker / Author

2 thoughts on “Your Secret Sauce to Success: Self Talk

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